RIP Bud Mayer: Psychiatrist, Hero, Loving Husband.
Several years after doctors confirmed he had six months or less to live, Bud Mayer was still alive and well, pipe in hand, dispensing his trademark wisdom along with his ever-present twinkle.
I first met Bud and his lovely wife Heidi in Washington State the fall of 2008. I’d come, film crew in tow, to hear first-hand the story of this extraordinary man and his last great adventure, with the thought that perhaps he could be featured in Coalition Against Assisted Suicide ads showcasing his story and perspective. I left that day, not with a story, but with two new friends. I’d had the fortune to meet a great man and an amazing woman–and to have been witness to a unique partnership of souls. It was the first of many treasured conversations with Bud and Heidi over the course of the next year and a half, conversations notable for their lively content, abundant good sense, and, happily, unparalleled hilarity.
But at that first meeting in the fall of 08, the Coalition, along with thousands of volunteers statewide, were in the throes of fighting Washington’s assisted suicide ballot initiative, Initiative 1000. Though outspent almost 5:1 by suicide proponents with 10 years prep time and loads of out of state cash to drop on advertising, the race was still neck in neck, with the polls virtually tied.
Into this fray appeared the extraordinary Dr Mayer, a psychiatrist and former Assistant US Surgeon General under C. Everett Koop. Bud’s perspective—that the assisted suicide initiative’s safeguards were a sham and that aiding and abetting vulnerable ill people in killing themselves was the opposite of good health care–was cogent, logical, and compelling.
Even more compelling was the fact that Dr. Mayer wasn’t only speaking to the issue as a psychiatrist with decades of clinical experience caring for suicidal patients and developing life-saving policies for suicide prevention and treatment. Nor was he speaking solely from the wealth of public policy experience he’d attained in a decorated career in public service, though both of these perspectives were convincing. Instead, Bud Mayer was speaking as a man–a man diagnosed with not just one, but several life-threatening terminal illnesses, a man who’d already lived well past his six month prognosis, to the tune of several extra years.
Over the next months, and even as late as a month ago, Bud waded into the assisted suicide debate courageously, armed with his trademark diplomacy and an inerrant ability to speak to the truth with kindness. He spoke to documentary crews, local and national news outlets, and newspaper reporters. Convincingly, he narrated his own story, replete with examples of the inexact science of predicting a patient’s death in six months or less. Undiagnosed and untreated depression, too, concerned him about the initiative, as did the horror of treating a suicidal person’s cry for help as a request to be killed, along with the inevitability of abuse in such a law, including the risk for non-voluntary deaths and elder abuse to be dressed up as “choice.”
The Coalition Against Assisted Suicide never did show the add footage shot of Bud—suicide proponent’s despicable trashing of Barbara Wagner (a poor woman who was denied chemotherapy by Oregon and offered assisted suicide instead), and the vicious tone of their campaign made Coalition leaders decide not put to Bud’s fragile health at risk in such a volatile public arena. Tragically, voters misinformed about the dangerous nature of legalized assisted suicide and deceived by a host of misleading ads, voted I-1000 into law in November of 2008.
With the one year anniversary of I-1000’s implementation set for March 5th, we would do well to remember that Bud was right: the choice proffered by Washington State’s Death with Dignity Act is indeed a lie. His prescient predictions of abuse actually have come to pass–True Compassion Advocates has recieved calls about seniors feeling pressured to commit assisted suicide and health care providers torn at being involved in medically sanctioned killings.
The impact of Bud Mayer’s life and legacy cannot be underestimated. Not only did he live an extraordinary life of public and private service, but in their last great adventure together, he and his beloved Heidi faced his illness and infirmity with dignity, grace, and humor. Heidi and Bud welcomed strangers into their home sanctuary with trademark hospitality and demonstrated genuine compassion to those at risk for suicide, assisted suicide, and elder abuse.
Dr. William E. (Bud) Mayer died February 10, 2010 “in the arms of his beloved wife, Heidi, who was his constant, devoted lover and companion for over forty years, and who has created a home and garden that he believed was a foretaste of Heaven itself.”
Rest in peace Bud. You have given us an authentic example of how to live compassionately, to love well, and to serve generously. It is an honor and a privlege to have known you. Heidi, you have our heartfelt sympathy and consolation. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Please see Bud Mayer’s obituary for details of his heroic life and service. To see a video of Bud please see the Media Video section of this site: Facing Life Head On.
Assisted suicide, Caregiving, Dignity, Health Care Reform, Uncategorized | Eileen | 
February 18, 2010 7:14 pm
Subscribe
